I'm 42. OK there it is, I said it. So what does that mean for me? If I expect to live to 75, (the current US average for men) then I've got 33 years left. Of course that isn't guaranteed, I realize how fragile life and health really are. Does that seem depressing or morbid? I don't think so.
A mid-life crisis can be defined as a period of dramatic self-doubt in the middle age of life, about 40, as a result of sensing the passing of your own youth and the imminence of old age. I suppose I don't really qualify since I don't really feel like my "youth" is passed. (maybe I'm just immature) and I don't feel like "old age" is imminent. A lot of the hype of the "mid-life crisis" has been dispelled but it still seems a lot of people at my age get disillusioned with life, have affairs, buy boats, fast cars, get hair implants, etc.. I actually started to think about this a few years ago, it was part of an overall realization that led me to stop smoking and to get into better shape. I have been very fortunate in that my health has always been very good, and of course has even improved in the past few years.
I also became aware of my personal impact on the earth and society, and began to make some other changes in my life that better reflected my beliefs. Being involved in social, environmental, political ,and humanitarian causes that I believe in. My beliefs are nothing if I don't do something about them, even if it's just something small.
So what do I do with 33 years. I don't have any children, so I don't have all that to worry about. I see my goals as working to make my little bit of the world better in the little ways I find, and spend some time doing things that allow me to experience the beauty and truth of our world and it's inhabitants, and of course at the same time, earn an income and support myself.
I have found few things that interest me and express so many of my beliefs like bicycling, I love the mechanical aspect, the fitness, being outside, the adventure, interacting with my community, teaching, politics, the environmental and social element of commuting by bicycle. And the social connectedness I have experienced by meeting like minded, (and not like minded, but still on bicycles) people through bicycling and bicycle activism.
So would I change anything in my life? Absolutely, but it takes everything I have lived to realized what those things would be. I don't really think knowing those things would have made me any better of a person. Most likely I would have been more arrogant, more outspoken and even less thoughtful, and less trusting, less caring, and less compassionate.
33 years. I think of all the things I had seen and learned and experienced by age 33. If that's what the final 33 hold in store, then I am a rich man. If it were all to end tomorrow, that would be alright. It's been a great ride, with great family and for the past 12 years with the true love of my life.
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