I had a great day riding with my buddies from Coastal Bicycle Touring Club. I've been racing and training hard all Summer and I have only made a few rides with this group. I really looked forward to being able to join them on the 102mile Savannah Century ride. Last year I rode it solo, and it just seemed long, and boring, and I barely crawled in the last few miles. Old Louisville Road into Savannah seems like it goes on forever.
I had ridden another century from Jesup to Darien and back, with the same core group of riders and it was one of those rides we still talk about. Nothing spectacular, just a shared time fondly remembered. As a group, we are not out to beat any records or even try to set a new personal best time. We just hold a steady, easy, pace, and we seem to pick up a few more riders. I call them strays. People who are riding alone, or got left behind by their group, and need someone to ride with.
Road cycling is very much a cooperative effort. Cyclist in a paceline draft off each other, letting them ride faster and easier than they could alone. The rider at the front of the paceline works hard "pulling" the riders behind him, then rotates to the back of the line to rest while the next rider takes a pull up front. I often enjoy pulling for a while, especially after spending a lot of time wheel to wheel back in the paceline.
Around 60 miles into the ride I became aware that one of the guys riding with us was having some problems. He was having cramps in his thighs. I've had them and they can be excruciating painful. I made the usual encouragements to eat and drink plenty, but I wasn't sure that was going to help. He seemed ready to give up, but after the rest stop he got back on his bike and continued on.
At the next rest stop he said he was ready to quit, and said he would ride back in the SAG van. He asked if I knew who to ask to call for him. I told him about when I had quit on a ride, that the trip back in the van took hours, and that he would regret quitting. A few minutes later he said he was riding ahead, afraid that standing still would worsen his cramps, and would ride with us once we caught up to him.
After the last rest stop he said we should leave him and he would ride back alone, the last 15 miles. I've been that beat down before, when the only reason you keep going at all, is just to be finished. I knew he could make it back alone, but I knew he shouldn't have to. It's crushing, it's miserable, and I couldn't leave him. So we rode with him. And we stayed together to the finish.
For the rest of us it was a pretty hard ride, but for him it was a ride that took something even more. It meant not taking the easy way, when it was right within reach, and it meant pushing himself beyond what he thought he could do, what he had done before. Seeing someone fight so bravely, struggle so hard, I can't help but feel admiration and respect for them, to feel honored to be with them in their moment. That time, when a person finds that place inside themselves where their strength lies hidden, and that's when they become "the hero".
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Can You Hear the Cowbells Ringing?
No, I have not become a Swiss dairy farmer. Last year I participated in two local cyclocross races. I never really thought I would, but I had ridden my cyclocross bike offroad a bit, and had the opportunity to learn some skills from a national cyclocross champion. Besides, I already had the cyclocross bike. Hard to pass up.
We practiced on the trails on some undeveloped land on Hutchinson Island, across the river from Savannah. There was mud, and a few good hills at the bluff by the river, and long stretches of deep, deep sand. We worked through getting on and off the bike for obstacles, carrying the bike, riding in sand, running in sand, finding a good line through mud, and a bit about weight distribution on the bike. While I was having a blast getting muddy and eating mouthfuls of sand, and constantly crashing in bushes I never once really thought I was ever going to race.
Cyclocross racing, for those outside the narrow interests of the cycling world, is an intense form of bicycle racing that is done only in late fall and winter. Cyclocross or CX or just 'cross is a sport of transitions, the surfaces of the course may change from dirt to asphalt to gravel, sand, grass or mud. While it shares some similarities with mountain biking, cylocross dates back to the late 19th century, and originated in Europe.
Cyclocross differs from mountain biking in that the cyclocross racer will have to dismount and carry the bike past obstacles, and remount, and there is a whole other set of techniques involved with that. CX courses are not as technical as a mountain bike course, and CX courses tend to be fairly short, only a mile and a half to two miles, with many tight turns, forcing the racers to accelerate and decelerate constantly, over constantly changing surfaces.
Examples of obstacle could be plank barriers about18 inches high, steep slopes appropriately called "run-ups", stairs, sand pits, off camber turns, and thanks to fall weather, mud, and in more northern climates, snow and ice, or frozen mud. Races are run for 30-60 minutes, depending on class, rather than distance.
Cyclocross really is an all out effort, your heart pounds to bust open your chest, you gasp for air so hard your lungs hurt, and your legs are just on fire.
I don't really have the body, experience, or the personal drive, to be a great athlete. I don't have the time, money, and frankly, the kind of discipline to train hard enough to get there either. On numerous occasions I have managed to get way in over my ability, or more truthfully, I almost always do that. Sometimes I manage to tough it out, but sometimes I am just so far off the back I might as well be off riding alone.
A few times I have even just called it quits. I don't like quitting, I almost always regret it, because I ask myself did I quit because I was really physically spent, or did I just get tired of trying. What really disturbs me is there is a part of my mind that is continually creating new and crafty excuses for why I should quit, or slack off. I have to ask myself, is this thing always on, and what other garbage is it feeding me?
I am enjoying learning the technical aspects of bike racing, but far more interesting is observing the people around me, and the different responses that they have to events in races, but mostly observing myself, and learning what motivates me. I'm still trying to find where in my psyche that push for the final sprint comes from, or closing a huge gap after being dropped off a paceline after a hard pull. This year I'm a little faster and a little stronger, and it should make racing more fun. I've been racing and training in Criterium races, and riding off road a good bit. Crit racing has helped me realize just how much of the race happens inside my head.
What I have found is that there is within me the will to push myself beyond what I am certain I can do, to endure a just a little more exhaustion and pain, to try to discover what my limits are, and to realize that my limits change. I am realizing just how much of the race is mental, how much the performance is in my head, rather than my body. Nothing can substitute for good physical training, and learning the skills and strategy needed for racing, but my real race happens mostly in my head. The part of me that wants to just give up when it gets tough is not very strong, but it is very persistent. I realize that as I train I need to train the part that doesn't quit, but that keeps racing, keeps pushing on anyway, even when the race is futile, when there is no hope of even making a good showing
Last year I just raced the two Savannah races, but I'm hoping to be able to make it to about 8 or 9 of the Georgia Cross Series races, (there are 13 on the schedule). Most of them are closer to Atlanta, which makes a long drive on a weekend. Hopefully I can find some camping at some of the two day events and save a little money on a motel room. There are still a few minor things I need to address on my bike to get it fully ready, including buying some new tires for mud. Aside from what I spend on my bike for repairs and upgrades, I need to figure out the costs for gas, meals, lodging, and entry fees.
The season in Georgia starts in early October, and while in the heatwave of August that seems far away, I am already feeling like I am behind where I should be in training. Of course, last year I had only about a month of preparation, and not even a dozen rides off road. Right now I need to rework my training plan to start including some cyclocross specific workouts each week. But before I do that, I'm going to take a short break from real training, to give myself some time to recover from having pushed myself so hard this summer.
My description of cyclocross racing may sound horrible, but it's really so much fun. I like the challenge, I love riding off road on a fast, light, maneuverable bike. I like wheel slip, and recovering instead of crashing. I like that there is much more to the race than brute strength, although it helps. I like that it's sort of a silly sport, one that's never afraid to make fun of itself, even though it's a very serious thing for many racers. I like the camaraderie between competitors. I like the struggle, I like the dirt, and I like being fearless, like I'm ten years old again.
We practiced on the trails on some undeveloped land on Hutchinson Island, across the river from Savannah. There was mud, and a few good hills at the bluff by the river, and long stretches of deep, deep sand. We worked through getting on and off the bike for obstacles, carrying the bike, riding in sand, running in sand, finding a good line through mud, and a bit about weight distribution on the bike. While I was having a blast getting muddy and eating mouthfuls of sand, and constantly crashing in bushes I never once really thought I was ever going to race.
Cyclocross racing, for those outside the narrow interests of the cycling world, is an intense form of bicycle racing that is done only in late fall and winter. Cyclocross or CX or just 'cross is a sport of transitions, the surfaces of the course may change from dirt to asphalt to gravel, sand, grass or mud. While it shares some similarities with mountain biking, cylocross dates back to the late 19th century, and originated in Europe.
Cyclocross differs from mountain biking in that the cyclocross racer will have to dismount and carry the bike past obstacles, and remount, and there is a whole other set of techniques involved with that. CX courses are not as technical as a mountain bike course, and CX courses tend to be fairly short, only a mile and a half to two miles, with many tight turns, forcing the racers to accelerate and decelerate constantly, over constantly changing surfaces.
Examples of obstacle could be plank barriers about18 inches high, steep slopes appropriately called "run-ups", stairs, sand pits, off camber turns, and thanks to fall weather, mud, and in more northern climates, snow and ice, or frozen mud. Races are run for 30-60 minutes, depending on class, rather than distance.
I don't really have the body, experience, or the personal drive, to be a great athlete. I don't have the time, money, and frankly, the kind of discipline to train hard enough to get there either. On numerous occasions I have managed to get way in over my ability, or more truthfully, I almost always do that. Sometimes I manage to tough it out, but sometimes I am just so far off the back I might as well be off riding alone.
A few times I have even just called it quits. I don't like quitting, I almost always regret it, because I ask myself did I quit because I was really physically spent, or did I just get tired of trying. What really disturbs me is there is a part of my mind that is continually creating new and crafty excuses for why I should quit, or slack off. I have to ask myself, is this thing always on, and what other garbage is it feeding me?
I am enjoying learning the technical aspects of bike racing, but far more interesting is observing the people around me, and the different responses that they have to events in races, but mostly observing myself, and learning what motivates me. I'm still trying to find where in my psyche that push for the final sprint comes from, or closing a huge gap after being dropped off a paceline after a hard pull. This year I'm a little faster and a little stronger, and it should make racing more fun. I've been racing and training in Criterium races, and riding off road a good bit. Crit racing has helped me realize just how much of the race happens inside my head.
What I have found is that there is within me the will to push myself beyond what I am certain I can do, to endure a just a little more exhaustion and pain, to try to discover what my limits are, and to realize that my limits change. I am realizing just how much of the race is mental, how much the performance is in my head, rather than my body. Nothing can substitute for good physical training, and learning the skills and strategy needed for racing, but my real race happens mostly in my head. The part of me that wants to just give up when it gets tough is not very strong, but it is very persistent. I realize that as I train I need to train the part that doesn't quit, but that keeps racing, keeps pushing on anyway, even when the race is futile, when there is no hope of even making a good showing
The season in Georgia starts in early October, and while in the heatwave of August that seems far away, I am already feeling like I am behind where I should be in training. Of course, last year I had only about a month of preparation, and not even a dozen rides off road. Right now I need to rework my training plan to start including some cyclocross specific workouts each week. But before I do that, I'm going to take a short break from real training, to give myself some time to recover from having pushed myself so hard this summer.
My description of cyclocross racing may sound horrible, but it's really so much fun. I like the challenge, I love riding off road on a fast, light, maneuverable bike. I like wheel slip, and recovering instead of crashing. I like that there is much more to the race than brute strength, although it helps. I like that it's sort of a silly sport, one that's never afraid to make fun of itself, even though it's a very serious thing for many racers. I like the camaraderie between competitors. I like the struggle, I like the dirt, and I like being fearless, like I'm ten years old again.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Things I believe, subject to change.
This is just something I have had rolling around in my head. Now I am tossing out into the universe. I don't expect it to mean anything except to me. I am pretty sure I will revisit this later to add some more.
Part 1
I believe there is a higher power. Be it gods, God, Goddess, Creator, however you personally see it. I use the word God since that is the one I am most used to. God interacts with us humans on a regular basis, but rarely is it on the level of our daily consciousness. I believe God to be more of a force like magnetism, or heat, or solar flares. Its action on us is often in small, undetectable methods, easily ignored, and easily dismissed, as chance, or coincidence, if you aren't looking for it. It is one of the many forces that govern our human nature. He has spoken to me, and set processes in motion through other people, who are unaware of the effects. We were created in Gods likeness, as sentient and sapient beings. We have his power of creation within us, and infinite love, and eternalness, but we lack the perfection to control our gifts properly. When we look for this force I mentioned earlier we will find it, and we let (the whole free will thingy) it have more influence on our actions, since we begin to understand the interrelatedness of our world. What I do does matter because it does change the world.
Part 2
I, like many, have “felt” the presence of God. The awe and wonder of the moment when you realize that you ARE in the presence of god. There are many practices and even experiences that can open a person to notice this invisible force that surrounds us constantly. For one person, it may be oneness with nature, for another prayer or meditation. Or maybe some kind of life altering event.
Then there are sometimes just moments of absolute clarity, when you see all the “little strings” that tie the universe together, but then you realize that you've only seen one tiny system of strings. That if you look from another direction these “strings” go other places, and that if you look deeper the “strings” go all the way from a million suns to the smallest subatomic particles. And ideas are tied up in the whole thing too, concepts, thoughts, feelings, perception, memory, time, etc… That every particle or idea or life that has ever been, or will be, or might be, or could have been, is all tied together somehow.
Part 3
If you’ve made it this far I suppose I should point out that the extreme use of ALL CAP words and sentence fragments and abundant commas are especially common for people who write rather bizarre manifestos, like this personal declaration of some of my beliefs. I have tried to filter down the essence of what is personal to me without making any blanket statements about other religions or other peoples beliefs. It is not my intent to try to convert or “save” or prove or disprove anything. Ask why. Question all teachings. Believe nothing that doesn’t survive doubt. Crazy break over.
This creator always listens to our cries for help, and sometimes answers. Rarely how or when we would demand. His mercy is great, but always uncertain. I believe God works to meet our individual needs, but more importantly the needs of all the parts of the big ball of “string” that is the existence of the physical, and spiritual, of all things. I suppose that idea smacks of preordination or predetermination, but I also think that allows room for free will. We do make choices, they do have consequences. This supreme power can and does sometimes override or nullify our choices.
Something had to set the universe in motion, perhaps some big bang, alien world builders, maybe some ancient creation story, I don't pretend to know, but I do believe God performed the infinitesimal or colossal action that set the whole ball of string rolling. I think the real mystery is where the raw material came from in the first place. Where God came from? What point in time or non-time he exists in?
Physical matter is organized in patterns, in reoccurring themes, not randomness. Like music, or the patterns in sand after the tide recedes, or snowflakes, or the grain of wood, or the swirls in a fingerprint or DNA. People are organized in other patterns also, thoughts, ideas, actions, motions, etc...
There is much more to the universe than just us, more than the physical eye can see. Physicists are discovering more and more, that often there are multiple answers or results, that there are things below the subatomic level, and that they may exist in other dimensions. The really scientific stuff is all way too deep for me, and my laymens interpretation does not do it justice. READ.
Part 4
I believe there is one TRUTH and one WORD, but religion always corrupts it, because it is an institution, created by humans, who are flawed, and practiced by humans who are fairly imperfect. I believe many religions have attempted to write the truth and the word, but none are infallible. Despite the horrible atrocities throughout the ages committed by misled followers, directed by self seeking leaders, and condoned by religious institutions, humanity is still better off with religion, than without it. We, (each of us individually, as well as humanity as a whole) are entrusted with the care and safe keeping of the earth, our fellow humans, and all the creatures on it. It’s YOUR job.
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